Yep, I know, I’m bad about keeping up with this. I’ve just been so busy lately. New job, keeps me insanely busy during the day, which I love, but I don’t have any desire to get on a computer after being on one all day long.
Anyways, I really had no intention of updating, if I’m honest, and y’all know I try to keep it real.
But, something happened to me that I just had to share.
My biggest fear (EEVVVEEERRRR!!!) happened to me today on my lunch break.
I went out to my truck, and when I climbed up, I was sitting on my skirt, so I reached down to pull it out from under me. That’s when it happened…yep, no long, draw out prelude to this story folks!
Bam! The worst pain I’ve felt in a very, very, very, long time shot up my pinky finger. I didn’t know what it was, I immediately pulled my hand up and looked at my finger. I saw, what appeared to be, a thorn. That’s one mean freaking thorn! Seriously.
So I brushed the thorn off my finger and closed the truck door, and just as I moved my legs, I saw it.
Beady little eyes, furry little head, veiny little wings.
YELLOW AND BLACK! YELLOW AND BLACK!
Yup, the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me.
For the first time in my life, I had been stung by a bee.
Now, for those of you that don’t remember, I have this irrational fear of bees. Like seriously irrational, I will straight up jump out of a moving vehicle if one of those little you-know-whats flies in. Or, I’ll stop my car in the middle of the road and jump out before taking it out of drive. (Y’all remember this story right? …. or this one?)
I’ve had this fear for YEARS. And for years I’ve had to explain why I go into absolute panic mode when I see anything with a stinger on its hiney, and the conversation always goes something like this:
Me: I’m TERRIFIED of bees! (for clarification, my definition of “bee” includes anything that has a stinger; wasps, bees, yellow jackets, hornets…)
Innocent Bystander: Oh! You must be allergic!
Me: I don’t know if I am or not.
Innocent Bystander: How do you not know if you’re allergic?
Me: I’ve never been stung!
Innocent Bystander: Then WHY are you so scared of them?
Me: Uhhh….ummmm…..well…..I dunno!
and then Innocent Bystander feels the need to say:
Well, they really don’t hurt that much! There’s no reason to be scared of them, as long as you’re not allergic, it’s just a little sting. And they won’t bother you, if you don’t bother them!
BS! BS! BS! BS!!!!
They don’t really hurt my foot! I have a very high pain tolerance, and that crap HURTS!!!! It hurts, it just hurts! Don’t tell me it doesn’t!!!
And I can’t stand when people say “they won’t bother you, if you don’t bother them” First of all, let’s define bothering. Some people say kids are cute; they BOTHER me! Some people say Ben Stiller is a great actor; he BOTHERS me. Some people say bees won’t bug you; their mere existence BOTHERS ME!
Obviously, my mere existence BOTHERED this bee so much that it decided to sacrifice it’s life to make a point.
We all have different opinions on what bothers us….even bees.
So, the whole point of my non-sensical rambling is this; if anyone thought my fear of bees was irrational before, you better watch out. Because let me tell you, the next time I see one of those little winged fiends….it’s game on!
If one decides to land on the seat next to me in an airplane…I WILL JUMP
If one lands on me while I’m rafting down the Amazon….I WILL SINK THE SHIP
If one goes skiing with me down Mt Everest…I WILL CAUSE AN AVALANCHE
I’m no longer just scared of bees…I’m TERRIFIED, PHOBIC, PETRIFIED, and every other word in the English language that’s a synonym to “afraid”
But at least now it’s justified.
Note: I understand that bees are like, one of the most important things on the planet. I get that. Please don’t lecture me on this. I would never condone the mass killing of bees, for any reason, in fact, I would never purposely kill them, as long as they stay far enough away. So all you tree huggers, get your panties out of a wad and just smile for a change!