With the death of my mom, the number one phrase that I’ve heard is, “She’s looking down on you from Heaven now!”
No, she’s not. Quit telling me that.
Now, before you start sulking away into your corners to get away from the cynical, bitter woman, just hear me out, and give me a chance to explain why I take a lot more comfort in knowing that she’s not up there watching me, than the belief that she is.
First of all, I get it. I understand why people say this, in fact, I’ve been guilty of saying it to others myself more than once. There’s a couple reasons we say this: 1) It’s an easy out. When there is nothing comforting to say, we utter this phrase to make the person feel better about the situation because, quite frankly, we don’t know what else to say. 2) It provides us some sort of comfort to think that even though we can’t be with our loved ones, they can still be with us. Humans are a selfish critter, and we apparently think that once we pass, our ultimate goal is to stick around with the people we spent time with here on earth, even though they made us absolutely miserable and downright sad at times.
My entire life, I’ve been told that Heaven is a place where souls experience nothing but joy. My image of Heaven is a bunch of souls just floating around obliviously, maybe in a tornado type formation, without any cares in the world. They may be singing with the Angel Chorus, they may be dancing, they may even being playing bingo for all I know, but the fact is, they’re happy, joyous….gleeful.
My mom could have a twisted sense of humor if you caught her on the right day, but even at her best (or is it worst?) I fail to see how she could in any way, shape, or form find joy, or happiness, or glee, or any other upbeat emotion from watching me and the others she loved here on earth as we fumble around on this planet to make some semblance of a “happy life.”
Don’t get me wrong, I actually consider my life to be pretty darn good here. But the fact is, I’m human, and I do some really stupid things some times, and I make some piss-poor decisions from time to time. How in the world could my mom, or anyone else for that matter, find any kind of joy from watching that?
Obviously I know she is in Heaven, my faith tells me that she did everything she was supposed to do to get in those gates, but I actually take comfort in thinking that she doesn’t really know who I am anymore. I know that sounds weird, but let me stop and say, I understand everyone has their opinion, and many of you probably disagree with mine on this matter. I respect your right to your opinion because even though there IS a right answer, and a million wrong ones, there’s not a single person on this planet that actually knows the right answer for sure. It’s not a question we are supposed to have the solution to.
So to those of you who have said this to me, I’m not trying to call any of you out, and I can guarantee that when you lose someone, I’ll probably be right there with everyone else, chiming in and saying “He/She is watching over you now!”
And when I do, you can thump me in the nose and say “No they’re not, quit telling me that!”