We are super excited about today’s holiday! Who is we? Well, me, Fiona, and Amelia of course! You’ve all met Amelia, though she hasn’t been around much lately, and to say she is excited about ANYTHING is a stretch…but it’s National Multiple Personality Day yo!
Anyways….to celebrate today, I decided to give my personalities a chance to say hello and express their feelings about what Multiple Personality Day means to them.
I’m gonna take a break on this one…you all already know enough about me. First up…the sweet, loveable, never cranky…Amelia.
What the hell is wrong with you people??? My last post was on July 22, 2012! Whyyyyy has no one sent a rescue party out for me? What has the world come to? I was driving down the highway the other day and the signs on the road were all glaring at me, saying “Missing elderly…” Umm…helllloooooo….I’m elderly…I’ve been missing for damn near two years…where was my silver alert? I swear, this country is filled with nothing but hoodlums…I’m moving to Canada. Wait…it gets cold there right? Screw it…Jamaica.
Anyways, this girl finally let me out of my prison cell and she expects me to be nice and sweet and tell you all about how great it is to be the “other” personality. What’s worse, she’s stuck me in a tiny little compartment of her brain with that giddy, bubbly, always happy idiot…Fiona. Well, you haven’t met Fiona yet but let me tell you, she’s annoying as you know what. Anyways…so you want me to be nice? Here, I’m being nice…I’m giving you all a piece of advice. Look around you, find the closest stick, and ram it up your….
Okay…I think that’s enough for one day Amelia….and you wonder why you’ve been locked away for so long.
Anyways, as Amelia and I have both mentioned, you have never met Fiona, but she has actually played a pretty important part in my life. Fiona is actually a pseudonym that I use in my professional writing. She’s been around for awhile, but she’s pretty shy, she tends to stay behind her words, but I begged and pleaded and finally, she agreed to come out and say hi.
So, ladies and gentlemen…Fiona!
Hi Fiona, this is the part where you tell all the people about yourself.
Oh, Hi, I’m Fiona!
Ummm….I’m sure there’s something else you would like to tell all these lovely people, right?
No, I’m good!
Alrighty then. Well, I told ya she was shy
Anyways, we hope everyone has a blast today, and learns to reach deep within themselves to find their other selves. With that, we are off to have some drinks…Amelia so graciously offered to pay.