My Telefono no Worko

For the past few days, I’ve been getting texts from people, mostly my mother, telling me that they tried to call me more than once and I never answer.  However, my phone has never rang.

Honestly, I don’t mind this too much, I’m the type of person that would much rather text than talk but trying to hold a text conversation with my mother would take three years, one because she’s slow and hasn’t mastered the art and two, because, well…my mom likes to talk.

I have to give mom props though, she certainly has figured out how to send me one message without avail:

“Call Me”

When I receive this text, I have exactly 3.2 seconds to drop everything I’m doing and return her call, otherwise she will assemble a search party consisting of the National Guard, every police department in the states of Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas, and of course, my step dad.  My mom is just crazy like that…but I love her

Anyways, the point of this is not to complain about my mom calling, honest, I swear.  The point is, why in Heaven’s name can no one reach me on my phone yet, for some ungodly reason, the telemarketer or debt collector that calls with a recorded message spoken entirely in spanish is able to get through with no problem whatsoever?

Three times now they have called.  Twice I simply hung up.

The third time however, I started punching buttons on my phone.  I assumed that’s what it was telling me to do because I heard “spanish, spanish, blah blah blah, marke uno, spanish spanish blah blah blah, marke dos…”

I don’t understand much spanish at all, but I know uno is one, dos is two, and so on.  I can only assume “marke” means press.

So there I was, pressing random buttons, with no earthly idea why or where they would take me.  And I certainly knew that I wasn’t going to get anywhere seeing as the prompts were in spanish, probably safe to say that when I got to a live person they weren’t going to “habla inglis”.

My button pressing really didn’t accomplish much, however, the phone started beeping, much like it would if you had reached someones answering machine(do they still have those) or voicemail.  So I did the only reasonable thing, I left a message.

I wonder how long it will take them to figure out that “Hola, taco, chalupa, enchilada con queso” means “you have the wrong number, please quit calling me until you learn to speak some freaking ENGLISH!!!”


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