Get to Shaking Those Sticks!

I had a really long, tiring day today so I decided to just go with a simple post today…enjoy.

Someone said something the other day, something I’ve heard a million times in my lifetime and never really given it much thought.  This time however, it struck me in a way that made me really wonder what the heck the saying means and why we insist on repeating these sayings to get our point across.

So it got me to thinking, there really are a lot of catchy expressions out there that we use without giving them much thought.  Let’s look at those sayings in an analytical sense and expose them for what they are.

Starting with the phrase that inspired this blog in the first place:

“She’s got skeletons in her closet”

Ummm, okay I know that this is meant figuratively but if you think about it, it really makes no sense at all.  The interpreted meaning of this phrase is “She has deep, dark, secrets that no one knows about.”

While this statement may be true for just about everyone out there, skeletons in a closet really couldn’t be held a secret for long.  In order for a body to become a skeleton, it must first die.  Once it dies, it begins to decay.  I don’t make a habit of going around and sniffing dead things but, the truth is most of us are bound to accidentally come across SOMETHING dead in our lifetime, whether it be a mouse that has crawled inside the walls or a long lost family pet.  If you have been living under a rock and somehow haven’t had the (dis) pleasure of coming across something that is in the decomposition stages, take my word for it, it STINKS. So it goes without saying, if you have skeletons in your closet, your neighbors are eventually going to find out about it!

Nothing to see here folks! Source:apihtawikosisan.com
Nothing to see here folks!
Source:apihtawikosisan.com

“I got it straight from the horse’s mouth”

Translation:  “I heard it from a reputable party who was present at the time and trust their word to be the whole truth, nothing but the truth.”

I spend HOURS upon HOURS a day working with horses.  If there’s one thing I know, their mouths are filthy.  Well maybe not filthy but, have you ever seen a horse’s mouth?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my equine friends but I’ve long wondered why in the heck God made these absolutely gorgeous creatures yet, gave them the most hideous looking teeth on the face of the planet.  Furthermore, horses are somewhat sketchy creatures.  As prey animals, they will do what it takes to keep themselves from getting in any sort of danger, that means, if they have to lie to keep from getting in trouble (assuming they could talk) they will do it without giving it half a seconds thought.  Again, I love my kiddos but, if they could talk, I really don’t know how trustworthy they would be.

Would you trust this? Source:battenkillequine.com
Would you trust this?
Source:battenkillequine.com

“She’s head over heels in love”

Translation:  “She’s very much in love”

Wait…hang on a second….a little longer….okay.  Sorry about that, I had to get up and look in a mirror for a second because I could have sworn this morning when I stared at my sleepy reflection while brushing my teeth that my head was already above my heels.  And, until I learn to walk on my hands (I can’t even master a dang hand stand much less walk) I’m pretty sure that’s where it’s going to stay.

Dude!  You're doing it wrong! Source: www.phrases.org.uk
Dude! You’re doing it wrong!
Source: http://www.phrases.org.uk

“A day without sunshine”

Translation: “A bad day”

You mean like…night?

Source: creativejuice.org
Source: creativejuice.org

“He has more junk than you can shake a stick at”

Translation: A LOT

This phrase actually DOES make sense to me.  If someone has like ten thousand poodles, I really have no intention of wasting my entire day shaking a stick at them.  Which brings me to the real point:  Why the heck do I want to shake a stick at them anyways?  Unless it’s a magical stick which will turn the poodles in to hundred dollar bills, in which case, I’ll shake that stick all damn day!

Source: www.lefthandedtoons.com
Source: http://www.lefthandedtoons.com
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