I spent the day with Amelia today (which in an effort to make that sound less crazy means that I had a lot of time to myself today and got some thinking done!). Despite her crass nature, she and I had a pretty good conversation and it got me to thinking- I’ve posted blogs here, and Amelia has posted blogs here, but we’ve never done a blog together, why not try something new for a change?
So the best that I could come up with on such short notice was an interview with Amelia.
Me: Amelia, you and I had a pretty productive day today, neither one of us got on each other’s nerves too much and we did everything we set out to do.
Amelia: If you’re trying to figure out why I never pushed you out of the car earlier it’s because I don’t know how to drive, don’t get too cocky on me.
Me: Well, I’m afraid that’s what settles for nice with you so I’ll take it! Now, I was wondering, I was away from the blog for a little while but I had good explanation as to why. Where were you at all the time that I was gone, you could have taken up the slack for me.
Amelia: Now why in Heaven’s name would I waste my time doing such a thing? You know good and well that the only reason I ever show up is because you poke and prod at me long enough that I just get sick of hearing your jibber jabber and give in. Do you honestly think that I blog on your blog because I enjoy it?
Me: Well, I never asked you to start blogging, you just sort of showed up one day.
Amelia: And let me tell you something else missy, you should be paying me some sort of royalties or something, writing of my caliber doesn’t come cheap, people pay me good money to write for them!
Me: Alright, fine, fine, let’s just talk about something else shall we?
Amelia: Yes, what about that giant pig looking thing that walks around your house. What do you call him? Winston? Why in the world does he have his own blog now? Do you honestly think people are stupid enough to think that he has evolved and grown opposable thumbs and learned to type? Oh, wait, we are talking about YOUR readers, none of them are all that smart!
Amelia: Ha-ha…they know I was joking.
Me: Well, if you must know, I think it’s cute that Winston has his own blog, he really has a lot to say, he’s really quite a vibrant personality, why shouldn’t he be able to express himself?
Amelia: “Be able to express yourself”, is he gay?
Me: What in the world are you talking about?
Amelia: Every time I hear someone say “I want to express myself” the next thing that comes out of their mouth is “Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
Me: That’s not true, that’s very rude of you to say, take it back.
Me: Sigh, I can see this isn’t going where I want it to, perhaps we should try this again sometime?
Amelia: Sure, I need more time to prepare rude remarks about you and your readers.
Sigh…that Amelia, she will never be happy!