As it Would Turn Out, Men Just Want to Have Sex

 

(I apologize now for the fact that you may actually learn something from today’s blog)

 

Okay, okay, I’m sure I don’t have to convince anyone here that men enjoy sex (most of them at least) and it seems that a male’s love for sex doesn’t stop with humans.  I was reading something earlier about creatures that still “live” after being killed.  I know that makes no sense but I know we’ve all seen a bug twitch after being stepped on.  Turns out that snakes will still bite after their head is chopped off, frogs will still swim if you remove their brain, and a turtle’s heart will still beat after being removed from its body.

 

What I found interesting was that there are certain species in which the male will still attempt to copulate even after either his partner has been compromised or he has been forced to compromise himself.   *Sigh*  Just like a man.

 

Let’s start with spiders.

 

Much like a praying mantis, spider women are known to get a little carried away during reproduction where “a little carried away” = killing their baby daddy.  Well the spider dudes don’t particularly care for this all that much, what fun is sex if you can’t live to tell about it?  But I’m not sure that their adaptation to the rule is really all that productive.

 

Spiders have started to evolve and now have a sort of detachable zombie penis.

 

Not today sweetheart!
Photo Credit: Cracked.com

Here’s how it works:

 

Boy Spider (Charles):  Oh Priscilla, you are so beautiful, let’s get busy and make babies together!

Priscilla:  Oh Chucky, I love you so much, let’s do this!

(Charles and Priscilla proceed to get it on)

 Priscilla:  Oh Chucky dear, you know I love you but….

(Priscilla turns on Chucky dear, her giant fangs poised, she lurches towards him violently)

 Charles:  Oh HELL NO! You crazy B!  I’ll show you!

(Charles jumps away to avoid being killed, but before doing so, detaches his zombie penis which continues to pump into Priscilla’s lady parts)

 

The funny thing about this is the article I read actually said that the zombie penis works faster and more efficiently once detached.  I just don’t see how this is an accomplishment for the 8 legged boys.  How many men would rather have their man parts removed and live a life of shame than just get it over with and die doing the dirty deed?  Seems like a good way to go to me!

 

Of course, we women don’t care either way around, even spider ladies get to have their toys!

 

Okay and what about fruit flies?  It seems that after you chop the heads off of a female fly, the males will still attempt to mate with the headless body.

 

There are so many things wrong about this.  This just goes to show that men really don’t care about a woman and her brains; they just want a good body and a nice piece of tail!

 

However, the study did say that the female fruit flies will refuse the males advances because they view them as nothing more than a “noxious foreign stimuli”.  Sounds about right!

 

Girl Power!

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6 thoughts on “As it Would Turn Out, Men Just Want to Have Sex

  1. You definitely get the award for the most informative yet disturbing blog post I’ve read today. Let’s see if they ask about this on Jeopardy!

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