Babies Shouldn’t Need Bucket Lists

I try to be a pretty light hearted blogger and keep people smiling but from time to time there are things that occur that I feel the need to talk about and those things shouldn’t be taken light heartedly.

 

I read a story today about a little girl named Avery.  You may or may not have heard about her, apparently she became a pretty big deal but I managed to know nothing about her until today.  She was diagnosed with something called SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) type 1 which is basically a death sentence for babies.  The likelihood of any child living past the age of two is very low.

 

After receiving this devastating news, Avery’s parents decided not to give in to sadness and pull the “woe is me” card rather, they decided to celebrate the beautiful little life they created by starting the blog “Avery’s Bucket List.”

 

The purpose of this blog is to spread awareness of SMA Type 1 and work to find a cure so that no other families have to suffer with the death of such a young child.  Unfortunately, the reason I’m becoming aware of this story is because little Avery lost her battle yesterday after spending only 5 months in this world.

 

I consider myself a pretty thick skinned person and I’ve never been shy about my lack of whole-hearted love for children but I’m not ashamed to tell you that after reading this story and the blog, I’ve found that a few tears have managed to escape.

 

I think this story hit me really hard today because of news I received from an old friend yesterday.  I actually knew today’s blog would be a somber one after speaking to her last night because I wanted to talk about what she was going through.  I started writing the story this morning and then for some reason, something told me to wait.  I guess because I needed to add Avery’s story in as well.

 

I’ve known this friend for several years now, most of my life if you want to put it bluntly.  We weren’t the best of friends growing up; we really just hung out because our moms were close and because we went to church together and Sunday School is much more fun when you have someone to pass notes to.   However, thanks to the invention of Facebook, we reconnected about a year ago and have gotten quite close.

 

She and her husband have been anxiously awaiting the arrival of their second child and yesterday morning was the day that she was going in to induce labor.  What should have been a happy day for the young family turned around in a heart beat.

 

Knowing that she reads this blog and out of respect of her and her family, I won’t go into details but there were complications during birth and her baby, who had been healthy all the way through her pregnancy, was never able to take his first breath.

 

As a Christian I know it’s not my place to ask why God allows little ones to suffer or why he puts us through the trials that he does.  It’s not my place to say that I hate it when He does this to us nor is it really my place ask for a reason or understanding.

 

But as a human, I can’t help but as “Why?”

 

I can’t imagine what it must be like to carry a little baby for nine months (or only two or three as far as that goes) only to never meet it.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to be blessed with a beautiful living angel for 5 months only to have it stripped away from you for reasons you don’t understand.  And I can’t imagine that it gets any better over time.

 

I’ve always heard people say that a parent should never bury their child.  I think that’s true no matter how old that child is; it just doesn’t seem like it should fit into nature’s plan that the youth of our lives are stripped from us in what seems like such a short time.

 

For those of you interested, I’ve posted a link to “Avery’s Bucket List” below.  I think you will find it truly inspiring but for those of you who refuse to admit you have an emotional side, you may want to wait until you are in complete privacy before checking it out.

 

Avery’s Bucket List

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10 thoughts on “Babies Shouldn’t Need Bucket Lists

  1. When I think about losing a child, I can barely breathe. How tragic for this family. Thank you for bringing attention to them as well as a horrible disease. And thank you for reminding me to give my kids big hugs tonight.

    1. This story just really tugged at my heart strings. I’m not in a place in my life right now where I want children of my own and I’m not crazy about being around them but I definitely am human and I don’t want to hear anything bad about them. I just can’t imagine the pain this family is going through but I’m so thankful that they are doing their best to spread the word about this disease.

      As of this morning they were $365,000 short of the million dollar goal they needed to get research up and going in an effort to find a cure. I’m sure now that the story has broke they have surpassed that or are well on their way.

  2. For a parent to bury a child – whether 5 months, 19 years old, or 50+ years old – there are no words to describe the heartbreak. Yes…as Christians, we have hope…but we still grieve. My heart goes out to Avery’s parents…and ALL parents who have walked through the valley of the shadow of death because they have lost a child.

  3. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and Avery’s family. No parent should have to bury their child/children. The death of your child defies the circle of life. Thank you for your post.

    1. Thanks. I know it will take a lot of healing but I know they will all be fine in the long run. I read the “about” page on your blog and I’m sure you can absolutely relate to how they are feeling. I have never been a parent so it’s something un-fathomable to me.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  4. There is never an ‘okay’ answer for the loss of a child. As a bereaved parent of a daughter who was killed at the age of 19, the journey of loss and redefinition of my life has been long. I would like to share a link for those who are going through the pain of such a loss. http://mybigredshoe.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/scott-free-far-from-it/ . We have over 700 bereaved parents who have taken part. This intro discusses the site and shares all sorts of articles for anyone who is grieving and/or cares about someone going through this. Thanks and peace.

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