The Brilliant Inventor

My obsession with getting to work earlier and earlier every day is really starting to get out of hand however; I will say that I have managed to beat Crazy IT lady every day since war was declared.  I was very distraught this morning when I left 15 minutes earlier than I did yesterday (which is about 30 minutes earlier than normal) only to pull out of my neighborhood to see that there was a train stopped on the train tracks.


The world’s busiest train tracks* are located less than half a mile from my house.  At first I thought it was going to be an issue with the noise but after living there for nearly three years I’ve learned that you really do tune certain noises out.  Crossing these tracks is really the only logical way for me to get anywhere, it’s not the only way but it’s the only way that makes any real sense.  Probably wouldn’t be a huge problem for the normal person but I have two things working against me.

My life story.
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First, as I said already, these are the busiest train tracks in the world** and you literally have about a 3 minute window between each crossing, even at 5 in the morning apparently.  Second, if there is a train around, I will find it and it will be the longest, slowest moving train you can possibly imagine, it never fails.


So this morning when I saw that the train was literally stopped, I have to admit I got a little annoyed but I was far from shocked.  I was forced to go an alternate route which, remember as I said, made absolutely no logical sense whatsoever, it took me a good 15 to 20 miles out of the way and added 20 minutes to my commute.  The only good thing about this route is the lack of traffic.  I actually go this way home every Friday because Friday afternoon at 4pm is when the Buick Regal club has their weekly meeting.


For the record, I managed to get to work 5 minutes earlier than yesterday which gave me some time to catch a nap before I had to go in and start the day


I really need help.


The train dilemma did, however, allow for 20 more minutes of thinking time this morning.  I started thinking about how I wish someone would hurry up and invent the flying car so I didn’t have to worry with road ways, though I’m pretty sure with the way most people around here drive, I don’t REALLY want them hogging up all the air space, that would just be disastrous.  Then I thought about how nice it would be if we could just teleport from place to place and cars could be used for recreational purposes only.  Again, I’m sure some moron would figure out a way to muck that up.  Anyone that was ever unfortunate enough to get trapped inside my brain in the morning as I’m driving to work would likely be tossed and jerked around like a pin ball, there’s just that much rambling going on in there at that time of the day but sometimes I come up with some pretty decent ideas.



What if there was a way to run everything wirelessly?


My sentiments exactly
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Yeah we’ve got wireless internet and phones and stuff like that but what about your household appliances?  What if there was some way that you could plug something into the wall socket and rather than use a cord to power something, it would put out some sort of signal(because we all already have brain cancer from cell phones) that electrically fed all of the appliances around it?  You could move whatever you wanted, wherever you wanted without worrying about having enough wall sockets or having to get an extension cord.


I, for one, would be more than happy to be the first to try out the wireless vacuum, what a pain it is to maneuver around that dumb cord!



What if all cars had auto pilot?


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One thing that I hate more than anything else is people who tailgate on the highway.  I will admit, I’ve done it before without realizing it but as soon as I wake up and see what’s going on, I back off.  What I hate even more than purposeful tailgating is the people that MAKE you tailgate.  You all know what I’m talking about; they cut you off or pull out in front of you in the fast lane and immediately slow down causing you to slam on your brakes.  It really annoys me that people have the mindset that just because they have their blinker on to get over, I have to slam on my brakes just to let them in when there is no one behind me.


Okay, I got on my soapbox there for a second, but seriously if there was some way to set auto pilot on cars, it would probably be a safer place because all of the cars would be going the same speed and no one would cut you off because you weren’t going fast enough.  Stayed out a little too late last night?  Not problem, just let your car drive you to work while you take a nap!  I see nothing wrong with this theory.


There has to be a way to do this, we already have cars that can detect how far objects are from them and brake accordingly and with GPS technology, all you would have to do is type the address in and away you go!  Sure, this might need a few tweaks to really be safe but I honestly see this as a possible future for the automotive world.



What if clothes were disposable?


We've already got edible underwear, why not disposable clothes?
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I get tired of my clothes in a heartbeat not to mention the fact that I hate to wash them.  What if they made clothes a whole lot cheaper so that when you were done wearing them, you could just throw them away and go buy a new wardrobe every week!



Okay, Okay, I know some of my ideas are a little far fetched but you gotta start somewhere right?


What are some of your brilliant invention ideas?  They can be silly or funny but I’m really interested in the realistic ideas, I’m curious to see what great ideas others have!



*     Not verified but I’m pretty darn sure it’s true

**  Again, not verified but take my word for it, true


15 thoughts on “The Brilliant Inventor

  1. I admire you innovators. I, however, am not one. Couldn’t come up with a good idea for a product if it killed me. And given my engineering skills, it probably would. But I like your idea of teleportation. Whenever my youngest asks me what super power I would choose if I could have one (which is a question asked by him more often than necessary), I always say teleportation, because I get so sick of getting from point A to point B. 🙂

  2. Oh, and by the way, just wait and see what type of search engine terms get used to land on your site now that you’ve mentioned edible underwear…(of course, you talked about a topless lady recently as well, so you’re in for a treat!)

    1. Haha, to be completely honest, I actually put that one in there for the sake of fun. It can’t get any worse than the naked lady right? Well, maybe….hmmmm

      My super power is the ability to freeze time. Want another hour of sleep in the morning? Pause! Don’t want to deal with traffic, just pause them and take the shoulder all the way. I’ve actually fantasized about how amazing it would be to freeze everyone right where they stand.

      When I obtain this power, I DARE people to make fun of me!

  3. Funny how ideas pop, isn’t it? LOL Have you read “ThinkerToys” by Michael Michalko? I use a lot of his creative-thinking techniques for my business. Best of luck in your endeavors! 🙂

  4. i lived near a train track for three weeks while i was waiting for my mare to deliver her foal. it drowe me crazy, the constant trains, but then again, i was living in a tent… 😛
    as far as inventions go, I am having a huge problem with tapeworms and my horses, and I am only alowed to treat them by testing the horses constantly and by plowing up my pastures, because tapeworms are transmitted by a some mites in the grass…
    If someone could invent something I could spray on my pastures, that would kill those mites instantly, I would pay anything to get it…. 😉

    1. That would be nice! I hate worming horses, they obviously don’t like it either. It’s kind of a “Catch 22” with those mites though because their main purpose is to aid in ground fertility isn’t it? I seem to remember something about that from college!

  5. I’m with you…I can’t believe someone hasn’t invented the flying car yet.

    There are train tracks by my house and I hit a train almost every time I come that way. A few weeks ago, this is what happened: Train A comes through going about 20 miles/hr. Just as it’s about to finish passing, it stops. It then reverses and starts going the other way. Just as it’s about to finish passing again, it stops. After a few minutes, it starts up again. About 5 seconds before it passes, a Train B comes through on the track next to it. Train A finally passes, then Train B stops. Train B reverses. Several minutes later, Train B leaves. The whole thing lasted about 15 minutes and by the end of it I was just laughing, because otherwise I knew I would cry.

    Sorry for such a long comment…it seemed shorter in my head 🙂

    1. Haha….I’ve had a simliar occurrence. From where my house is there are actually three places you can cross all within about a1/4 mile of each other. Luckily the crossing closest to my house has only one track but further down it branches into two which means there are occasionally multiple trains.

      The biggest problem is about 3 or 4 miles down the tracks is a transfer hub as well as an Amtrak station so we get A LOT of traffic through there. I wouldn’t mind if they were all passenger trains, those move fast and are about 3-4 cars long. it’s those darn BNSF trains that move 2 miles an hour and are 3 miles long!

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