Oh Hi! I Just Called *Flush* to Tell *Flush* You That *Flush Flush*…

I have a very serious matter to discuss with you all today.  This is not to be taken light heartedly, I feel that it is a real issue that needs to be addressed and that we need to spread the word.


Have you ever been in the restroom, minding your own business, doing your “thing” and low and behold, from the neighboring stall you hear Mt. T screaming “Pick up yo phone! Sucker!”  As if that isn’t alarming enough, 95% of the time the person actually picks it up!


I understand that Mr. T can be quite persuasive but am I really the only person in the world who finds that to be obnoxiously rude, not to mention disgusting?  Can the phone call really not wait 30 seconds for you to finish, flush; wash your hands, and step out of the restroom?  It doesn’t matter if it’s urgent or not, what are you going to do sitting on the toilet that you can’t do easier when you’re not…busy?


The only thing that I hate more than being stuck in a restroom with someone who feels they need to carry on an entire one-sided (usually very loud) conversation is being the person on the other end of the line.  Obviously I don’t keep your potty schedule written down in my organizer otherwise I promise you I would never call you when you are  sitting on the toilet.  And if I ever call you and you are, please, please, please don’t answer.  When you call me back just tell me you were busy and I will be more than happy to forgive you.


The main problem with talking on the phone in a public restroom is, you have absolutely no control over when someone flushes and I guarantee you that there is someone in there just like me, that is annoyed with you and could care less why “Frank and Jill are getting divorced”.  If there is someone in there with you like me, expect to hear ten to twelve random flushes right after another because I will sit there and hit the button over and over until you get the hint.


I was in the restroom at work the other day and over heard the following conversation (only one side of it of course):


“Oh yeah, I had gloves, otherwise it would have been such a mess!”


 “Yeah, I had the Dr take a look at it; I’m waiting for the test results”

I flush the toilet at this point because I’m giving the person benefit of the doubt that they don’t know I’m in there with them

 “No, it wasn’t really hard, it was more squishy”


 “Okay, well do you want to go to the Dr. with me?  They should probably check you out as well”

At this point I’m disgusted and my mind is going in so many different directions that I had to get up and leave.  I have no idea how long this conversation went on but I’m pretty sure it was a good thing I left when I did, conversations like these can only get worse!


We’ve established that talking on the phone in the restroom is quite annoying and the only thing that might possibly be more annoying is doing so while standing in line at the checkout counter.  When I was a cashier I used to stop everything I was doing and wait for the person to finish their conversation.  If there were people in line behind them their aggravation would typically force that person to get a clue.


It’s pretty clear that people are addicted to their phones and social media.  This is a generation that wants to stay connected with the world.  I understand that and for the most part I belong to this generation as well.  But there’s a difference between belonging to something and letting it consume you.


I wonder what it would be like if all forms of communication ceased to exist and we had to go back to things like telegraphs and carriages.  Could you imagine what it would be like to deliver mail to your family via pony express?  During the winter months it could take up to 16 days for them to get that letter, that’s assuming that the rider didn’t get ambushed along the way!


The sad thing is, if you were to do something as simple as taking everyone’s cell phone away from them, there would be riots, terrorist threats, and just plain chaos.  Just for taking ONE thing away.  We aren’t talking about taking someone’s first born child; we are talking about a phone, a material possession.


But oh how much we adore that material possession.  Again, I can’t say that I’m not guilty; my phone sits within reach just about 24/7.  As we speak it’s sitting 3 inches away from my keyboard.  I even almost had a crazed fit this morning because I made it all the way to work and thought I had accidentally left my phone at home.


Just for fun, I looked up a list of the top ring tones people download for their phones.  Though I might try to finish this post off on a positive note!


10. Pick up Yo Phone – Mr. T

9. Crazy Frog (You know you’ve got that in your head now!)

8. OMG – Usher

7. Southpark Soundbytes

6. Super Mario Bros Theme

5.  Exorcist Theme (Tubular Bells) – I’ve been guilty of this one at Halloween

4. Get Low – Lil’ John

3.  Original Nokia tune

2.  Star Wars Theme

1.  Vibration (My phone probably spends 98% of its life on silent mode so I can completely understand this)


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