I have a confession to make.
I try to stay “up” with the times for the most part which is why I’m embarrassed to admit this but, it wasn’t until just recently that I understood what a “Troll” was. I heard people saying they had a troll on their blog or Facebook and I would just say “Oh, I hate those things!” and pretend like I knew exactly what they were talking about, all the while trying to figure out how in the world having some little chubby, crazy haired, scrunchy faced, usually naked, doll from the 60s would be such a nuisance.
Let me start by assuming (aka praying) that at least one of you out there isn’t familiar with trolls. That’s not completely true, we are ALL familiar with them, we just never knew there was a word for it.
A troll is that person that always has something derogatory to say. They may respond to every single Facebook status update you post with something condemning or blatantly false. The reason trolls do this is that they thrive off drama and emotional disturbances. A troll is constantly trying to invoke a negative emotional response from other parties involved. It doesn’t matter what you post, where you are, who you are talking to, trolls are everywhere, there’s just no getting away from them.
I can’t blame them really, if you were a 43 year old virgin who still lived at home with your mother, you would probably revert to trolling as well. As annoying as they are, I think we should really be concerned for these poor individuals as they lead very rough lives.
That is why I have decided to start the National Organization of Troll Respecting Oddballs Living for Liberty or NOTROLL.
Established in 2012, NOTROLL is an organization that represents Trolls, Troll communities, and their loved ones. Their outreach program is designed to reach out to Trolls in need and give them the support and attention that they deserve and desire. We pride ourselves in providing Trolls with the most current, invigorating, and relevant forms of negative attention available today.
NOTROLL’s mission is to support Trolls who are weakened or deprived of the negative attention and brutal misgivings that they need in order to survive. NOTROLL fosters education of non-Trolls who are tasked with living and caring for these special creatures, as well as provides support to the family members and loved ones of Trolls. It is our duty to ensure that no Troll goes without feeling the benefit of having hatred and negligence in his/her life.
I’m coming to all of you today, my fellow readers, with hope in my heart that you will all happily provide support for this organization. To donate time or money, please send the following information:
- Social Security Number
- Bank Account Information
- Mother’s Maiden Name
- Email Address
- Home Phone
- Work Phone
- Cell Phone
- Parent’s Phone
- Spouse’s Phone
- Date of Birth
- Vaccination Record
- Work Schedule
We thank you for your support and hope that your next interaction with a troll is a warm and memorable one!