Mild Hot Sauce: Quite Possibly the Biggest Oxymoron of Them All


I pretty much never eat breakfast.  I know, I know, it’s the most important meal of the day, blah, blah, blah, but I just never have been a breakfast eater.  I will, however, occasionally force myself to stop and pick something up on the way to work and since the only two  things between the highway and my office are McDonald’s and Subway and McDonald’s has a drive-thru, that’s usually where I end up.  So probably not the healthiest breakfast but whatever!


The other day while ordering my burrito the person in the big speaky box asked if I wanted salsa, to which I replied, “Yes, hot please.”  I then proceeded to the window, paid, and drove to work.


Once I got to work and opened my bag of yumminess I was shocked and very disappointed to find this:

Okay, I understand that not everyone likes their food as spicy as I do.  I’m well aware that peppers and spices get me a little more excited than that the average person, but come on!  I might as well have grabbed a tomato and squeezed its contents over the top of my burrito.  The only thing that mild hot sauce added to my morning breakfast was more calories, and Lord knows I didn’t need anymore of those!


I normally try to look at most things with an open mind so that’s why I’m coming to you today, my faithful readers, to ask:  Why did anyone waste their time to create mild hot sauce?


Apparently in certain brands you can also get extra mild.  Am I just completely missing the point here?


5 thoughts on “Mild Hot Sauce: Quite Possibly the Biggest Oxymoron of Them All

  1. I love the post. It made me smile. I live a different life over here in Ireland. Fruit, yoghurt and muesli for breakfast. Then I can eat any crud I like later in the day. I doubt I would be putting that sauce (or any sauce) on my breakfast.

    1. So glad I could make you smile! I guess it’s probably a Texas or “Southern” thing but we pretty much put hot sauce on EVERYTHING haha

      I love hearing about other cultures though, what is muesli?

      1. Muesli is a breakfast cereal based on oats. Ours uses oats, flax seeds, cashew nuts, grated coconut, hazelnuts, almonds, blueberries, apricots, cranberries pumpkin seeds, honey and some other good stuff. You can see why would not put the sauce on it!

  2. placebo effect… people will think it’s hotter than mild sauce but milder than hot sauce, and this is the solution for those inbetween who aren’t daring yet who don’t want to look like complete pussies

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