It’s that time of year again. When people like me who don’t give two flips about football get roped into the excitement that is the Super Bowl. It’s a time of happy party people, gathering at a designated house, drinking, laughing, and yelling. A time when everyone has an opinion about the sport even though they may not know the difference between a field goal and a hockey puck. And a time when everyone actually waits until the commercials are over and the game is back on to make a run for the toilet.
I absolutely love this time of year. Not because I care about the game- no….I love this time of year because the Super Bowl is one of those special “holidays” that warrants the cheap sale of alcohol and snack foods! This is the time of year that we get together with our friends and yell and scream and get rowdy and our neighbors don’t complain. It’s when we see people that we haven’t seen or spoken to since last years game but we pick up right where we left off.
Thankfully we have our friends from Rutgers and Princeton to thank for making football popular way back in 1860 something or another. If it weren’t for them, we would have no Super Bowl, no tailgating, no cookouts and we never would have known that Clydesdales can punt footballs or that frogs are capable of synchronizing their ribbits to say Bud-weis-er. Men wouldn’t be able to tell their wives that they are going over to Bob’s house to “watch the game” and most importantly, there would be one less reason to drink beer! (Most people I know would counter that with “Who needs a reason to drink beer?” but I’m pretty picky about beer and honestly would be okay if it all disappeared off the face of the planet.)
So thank you to all the creators of American Football, thank you for giving our men a reason to beat their chest and prove that they are superior to their friends. Thank you for showing us that wardrobe malfunctions (planned or un-planned) are eventually forgotten and covered up by next years God-awful halftime show. Oh, and thanks for proving to us that no matter how “real” you try to make your advertising efforts, people will always get angry if you attempt to further flatten the already flat face of a pug, even when the pug comes out on top (literally). But most importantly, thank you for cheap snacks, cold beer, noisy sports bars, and great friends!