Cell Phone, Cell Phone: How I miss thee!

You know how you always hear people saying things like, “How did we ever survive before cell phones?” and you look around and it’s usually because someone has one glued to their ear in some precarious fashion?  I have been guilty of this before myself even though I know that I’m a hypocrite.  I am just like the rest of you out there who smirk when you see someone juggling 20 bags of groceries just to ensure that they do not have to hang up their phone, and then you turn around yourself and update your Facebook with “How did we survive before cell phones?”.

 

Last Friday I had an issue with my cell phone provider which ultimately resulted in my cell phone being canceled.  In an effort to be as moral as possible, I won’t slander the company by calling them out but I will say that if you were looking at all the cell phone providers in alphabetical order, they would be near the top of the list.  I have had several issues with this company from the moment I started service with them, I should have known better as I had them years ago and was extremely annoyed with them before, but for whatever reason I decided to give them a second chance.

 

Since I started service my bill has been at least twice as much as it should have been and no one can explain why.  Then last month when I paid my bill I accidentally transposed some numbers in my checking account information.  OOPS!!!  Let me warn you all now, don’t EVER do this…EVER!!!  Even if you realize it and call the company to try to make it right, they will still slam you with every freakin fee they can possibly think of.  So, because this really was my mistake and I should have double checked my 10 key skills, I decided to just eat it and pay all the fees and not even bother arguing with them.  So I sent in my $250 payment (man my bank account is still crying about that one) and filed that one in the “lesson learned” category.

 

At this point I figured such an absurd amount of money would have solved my problem.  Well, I never claimed that I wasn’t naive.

 

A couple weeks ago I got a bill in the mail (I know, I haven’t joined the green “paperless billing” movement yet) stating I now owed another $220.  Really?  When my plan is 80 bucks a month?  Now, let me go back and explain to those of you who don’t know me, I am very quiet and reserved, I don’t really have much to say most of the time and I hate, hate, HATE talking on the phone. (Anyone else see the irony in that statement?)  One of my absolute least favorite things in the world to do is call customer service to take care of business.  It’s even worse when the person you speak to on the other end of the phone doesn’t speak the same language as you, however thankfully, that wasn’t the case this time.  But just as bad as a non- English speaking “Customer Care Specialist”?  (Care? What a joke that is!)  One who is about to go on their lunch break or home for the day and could really care less about your situation.

 

So, after we discovered that the extra $140 on my bill was credited to “miscellaneous fees” which basically is their way of saying “We have no clue what we are charging you for but pay it or we will hit you with another $300 in contract cancellation BS” I finally caved and asked to speak to a manager.

 

Why do they have these dumb Customer Care Specialists?  Why don’t the managers just answer the phone?  Have you ever gotten anything accomplished through a CCS? (I’m tired of writing the entire thing out; the title is just as pointless as the people doing the job)  Everyone I’ve ever spoke to who had to deal with a company, not just cell phone companies, has always had to utter the dreaded phrase, “Let me speak to a manager.”  In fact, I know several people who will say that off the bat before even telling their story.  I guess they are on to something but the problem is, half the time the managers can’t even help.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that these CCS people are just doing what they are told and for any of you that may do this job, I’m not knocking you personally, we all have to do our jobs and with the economy the way it is, you gotta take what you can get but, seriously, if you were able to explain to me exactly why I owe you what you say I owe you, I might be willing to pay it.  MAYBE.  But no, companies just start adding things on and use lingo that no one understands then expect the common person to just agree.  Have they not figured out that that’s not how it works?  I mean seriously, I’m just going to start walking around and charging people miscellaneous fees just because I can.  Oh you blinked twice before saying “Hello” that will be $10 please.  Need me to come un-twist your phone cord?  Absolutely, for a convenience fee of $25 I will take care of that for you free of charge.  Give me a break people!

 

So long story short, I ended up going with another provider and switched my number.  Apparently when my current provider got notice that I was switching my number, they took it upon themselves to go ahead and cancel my phone.  Hooray!  Another call to my lovely friend “Peggy”(please tell me y’all get that) to see if I can get it turned back on since I opened the new account online and the phone is being shipped to me and won’t arrive until Wednesday.  No such luck.

 

So I have been “phoneless” since Friday of last week.  Well not really, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to stay in touch with the real world and went out and bought one of those hideous cheap pre-paid phones.  Let me tell you how much fun that has been.  Not able to check Facebook 100 times throughout the day?  LAME!  Not being able to send or receive picture text messages?  Uber- LAME!  No apps?  No internet?  No nothing???  I think I may soon go into shock!  I can’t even text as much as I would like because I’m now having to re-learn T9.  (I used to be the worlds fastest T9 texter, if only in my head)

 

I said I would never allow myself to get attached to a technological piece of equipment but I was wrong.  I’ve known this for awhile, on the rare occasion that I’ve left my phone sitting on my dresser and had to go an entire day without it, I thought I was going to lose it.  It’s just sad how we have learned to depend on electronic devices.

 

I suppose I could go on and on about how we should get back to basics and all that mumbo jumbo but as it stands right now, I have saddened myself and have already resorted to checking the UPS tracking website 10 times to see if they have updated the ETA of the arrival of my new phone.  No such luck.  I guess I will just have to get busy with today’s macaroni art magnificence!!!

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